![]() ![]() Why I didn't really go? Because I'm getting really annoyed with my friends recently and everyday I want to yell at them and tell them to get out of my life. In fact today one of a group of my friends wanted me to help them film a horror film and I lied to them saying I was sick and I wasn't able to make it. I've lied to them so much it's sickening. If I had a penny for every time I told one of my friends or family members I was fine I'd probably have about five dollars, maybe more. I try to make everyone happy and it works but where are they when I need cheering up? It's a like a war is going on in my mind and there is no way I can stop any of it. There's no escaping the things I've thought about or the people and things I've wished would go away. It feels like there is a wall in my brain and behind that wall was all the hate, all the anger, all the sadness, all the stress and worry and that wall is slowly crumbling down and there is no way to build that wall back up. Now I walk around with a fake smile plastered on my face and tell people I'm fine when I'm really trying to figure out what I'm doing with my life. When I didn't have to worry about what I was saying or what I was doing. I just want my life to go back to normal. The girl that wants to be able to speak her mind without caring what people thought. The girl that wants to be helped but doesn't know where to get help. The girl inside of me wants to tell the truth but is too terrified that someone will laugh at her and make fun of her. Yet here I am sitting in my room writing this at one in the morning wishing I could tell people the way I really feel. I have a perfectly happy and healthy life. Larson i guess you could call me the late bird how to#People who just walk passed when they can't see that someone they love is dying on the inside and doesn't know how to tell anyone. ![]() Do you know how long I've tried to stay strong for? Because I've lost track of the years. Does the color of a dress really matter when the people around you are dying on the inside and aren't strong enough to tell someone? I guess it does because every time I try to say something I'm pushed away like we push away our responsibilities. When in reality most of those people can't tell the difference between black and blue or white and gold. Trying to show that they deserve the fame. It seems now a days people are always trying to hard. In a world where everyone strives for perfection and people rarely take time to breathe I was the only wondering in the dark wondering where the hell I was supposed to go. I never wanted my life to turn out this way. So hello, I guess you could call this my confession To be honest I'm not sure if I'm going to even put this on the weekly stories but if you're reading this right now that means I decided to put it up. ![]()
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